"The Elixir of Life" by Honore de Balzac
commentary by rbadac
illustrated with an
1842 portrait by Louis Boulanger
& Rodin's famous sculpture
I've just read a story with a jaw-dropping ending: Honore de Balzac's "The Elixir Of Life."
Text read was "L'Elixir de longue Vie" in the Revue de Paris of October 1830, cross-checking with the version in Etudes Philosophiques (1835-37) in the original French (I'm kidding, I'm kidding !! I found a loose volume of a set of Balzac's works at the Salvation Army for fifty cents! Clink !!)
There is, besides the price, an additional goose in this: if some of you should happen to luck upon this set, or a set like it, bring a knife. Can you guess why? (No, rbadac, why?) I'll tell you why. It's because no one ever reads these things, & you're going to have to cut the pages yourself. WOO-HOO!! Could be the only virgin you'll ever have. No eyetracks but yours. How's that for a thrill?
You'll have to be careful, though, as the pages will also be brittle with age. This is Volume # 22 of the 25-volume set done by P.F. Collier & Son, New York, way back in the days before Arabic numerals; copyright date is MCM.
This, & the stories accompanying it (& there are a few with supernatural or horrific interest, such as "Christ In Flanders," "Melmoth Reconciled" a spin-off of Maturin's Melmoth, & "Adieu," sometimes over-translated as "Farewell," all in this volume, & "The Wild Ass' Skin," & "Seraphina" in others). These are early work of Balzac's, warming up no doubt for The Human Comedy, or perhaps for posing for that statue Rodin did of him -- you know the one I mean? Fat & proud of it, he was (Balzac, not Rodin).
"Elixir" begins with Balzac's own statement that the idea for it comes from E. T. A. Hoffman; whether that's true or not, it certainly sounds like one. Don Juan Belvidero, virtually a working model of the infamous rake, is summoned to his father's deathbed. His father reveals that he has in his possession a vial of liquid which, when rubbed on the body after death, will bring him back to life.
Well, Daddy's rich, & he's lived too long as it is, in Don Juan's view; still this doesn't keep him from putting a little of the elixir on one of Pop's eyes, just to see how it works. Eeecch. Live eye in a dead head.
That's enough of that, or the story would be spoiled, so you'll have to find out for yourself. Salvation Army is in the phone book under 'S.'
Or you could try the library. This set is supposed to be fairly accessible. The uncredited preface of the Collier volume, by the way, is also excellent. They'll cut it open for you at the front desk, if you're not daring enough to sneak down an aisle & vandalize library property yourself.
-rbadac, who deflowers old books with an enthusiasm bordering upon rape.